August Left

I had my first therapy appointment yesterday with my new provider. We went through the situation with the breakup and fallout and I identified the main issues I’ve been having lately like insomnia and my almost nonexistent desire to do anything.

It felt good to have a space to be able to open up honestly and she asked me some good questions to help reflect on the situation. I plan on going once a week for a little while just to keep a good handle on how I’m feeling.

Sleeping is still hard. I find myself up until 3 in the morning almost every night. My brain just still racing trying to process everything. I just have this sadness that I still need to work through, it’s tough.

We’re preparing for a cold storm here. It doesn’t sound like my area is going to be affected as badly as the more eastern parts of the United States but we will definitely have sub zero temps for a few days.

I almost went through with a motorcycle purchase. I found one I really liked but by time they got back to me the next day they let me know there was a deposit in on it already.

How am I feeling overall? Pretty bad. I feel like I was just thrown away. Like my feelings were completely ignored by someone I thought cared about me. The flip from telling me one day they still had feelings for me to now never being able to talk to them again is just jarring. I’m literally in emotional shock over it.

I’m about to start another stretch of shifts for the weekend. I have my monthly medication injection to do today so hopefully that gives me a little bit of an energy boost this week. I’ve been feeling okay overall in regards to my Crohn’s. I think me trying to exercise everyday has been helping with that.

I hope the next few days goes by quickly. I dread being at work all night long. That’s when the thoughts creep in really hard and I can’t just sit around and try to work through them.

Stay warm this weekend wherever you are. Thanks for reading.