August Left

I can’t believe it’s May already. The year feels like it’s just blurring by. This last week has been nothing but cold and rainy and I’m about to start a stretch of four shifts in a row this weekend, which is not something I usually do.

This week I just spent my days inside. I did some financial organizing, fixed the turn signal wire on my motorcycle that somehow got frayed and split, and watched a show on Hulu from start to finish that I really enjoyed.

My sleep schedule has been really off this week. I was staying up until 2 or 3 in morning most days and sleeping late into the afternoon. Not really sure what that is all about but I guess it kept me in night shift mode for the shifts I’m about to do.

I did some baking yesterday. I made a garlic, chive, and cheddar sourdough loaf that turned out really good. I am making another one to bring to work for my coworkers tonight to see how everyone else likes it.

I hope the weather next week is nice after my shifts are finished. It would be nice to be able to get out and do some riding this week or at least maybe go to the park and read like I usually do.

I’ve been doing some thinking. I might have to stay in this apartment longer than I wanted. Maybe at least until the new year. Unfortunately my fiances are just still getting worked out and I doubt getting a new place would be a possibility for me. Maybe I could rent a house from somebody if the price was right but not another apartment.

That might be a good thing anyways. I will already be switching jobs, adding moving to the equation might be more of a headache than I’m ready for. But man, it is crazy how fast my deadline is approaching for leaving and getting new employment.

I hope I can say I made some friends at this job. Some of my coworkers have followed me on social media and have taken an interest in my life. I hope I have at least shown them that I am a good person. I’m disappointed that the drama of my own personal life made its way to work and affected my comfortability of staying at this job.

There isn’t anything to follow up on about the conversation with my ex that happened earlier in the week. I told myself I wasn’t going to text her or manufacture any more run-ins at work. So I guess if she wants to reach out to me I will address it when it happens.

I still feel emotionally burnt by everything that happened but I think just by the soothing of time passed things are less heavy than they were a couple months ago. It’s such a complicated phenomenon. Breaking up and moving on from someone you love. Especially how this breakup ending playing out. It was a lot more complicated than breakups usually are.

I hope four in a row doesn’t fry me too badly this weekend. I will do my best to stay resilient.

Thanks for reading.