August Left

Today I finally got out of bed and went West to the mountains. I had plans to hangout with a friend from work today but he cancelled last minute so I told myself it was a sign to finally take the day and drive out West to see the Dillon Reservoir and Silverthorne like I had been telling myself to do for months.

I loaded up my kayak and fishing rod, grabbed my cooler and just went for it. I made it all the way to Frisco, but ended up driving back closer to Denver and spent some time in Georgetown on a little lake and did some fishing.

It turns out I had been there before. I had stopped in Georgetown on one of my drives from New Mexico to Canada and stayed in a hotel there. But I guess I never really paid much attention to what the town was called when I was there that night. I still have photos in my camera roll being there a couple years ago.

It felt like a really big accomplishment to actually get out and do this trip today. I’ll be honest, I have had a lot of anxiety about doing pretty much anything alone. I can make myself get out and get groceries, go to appointments, etc. But anything outside of that, like getting out and living a little, has been hard.

And I think that has been due to a combination of things. I have definitely been depressed in some ways, there has been financial strain which has made me not want to spend any extra money, and truthfully for a while I felt like I didn’t deserve to go out and have fun or do things for myself.

But time has made a lot of those things get better. I don’t feel so ostracized anymore by this breakup. It made me feel really alone here in Denver not knowing anyone and basically having to start over in a new social circle. Money is getting better as I’ve been able to handle some bills and grow some savings. It’s all been a work in progress.

Hopefully in time this continues to get easier and I keep rebuilding this new life I’m trying to settle into here. All I can do is keep trying.

Next week I need to reach out to the recruiter and finalize on a new job. I haven’t heard anything from this flight position and honestly I don’t think it’s worth waiting around for. The idea of the gig is cool, but a new job somewhere else comes with a sign on bonus and an increased hourly wage. Right now I think that is more important.

2026 is basically my salvage year. Pick up all the pieces and figure out where they belong again. I have to give myself a pat on the back. Well, honestly I wish I could give myself a hug. I’ve been through a lot the last 12 months. I just have to keep going.

Thanks for reading.