August Left

Only two more shifts until I’m done with my current job forever. It feels pretty surreal that August is in a few days. I remember sitting at this computer six months ago feeling like today was going to take forever get here. I’ve had this timeline in my head for the last couple months waiting for it to play out. The last page of this chapter in my life I have desperately wanted to finish.

I sat here yesterday attempting to write this post out but got severely distracted by some short films on YouTube. They have been my comfort media to consume lately. I’ve also bee watching people around my age video blogging about their life and the struggles they’re also experiencing. All the different life challenges people seem to face. It’s comforting in a way to see other’s stories and to feel that I’m not alone.

My days off have been really lax. I’ve had a terrible sleep schedule. I can’t fall asleep at night and then stay up until the early morning, end up falling asleep until past noon because I’m exhausted, and the cycle repeats. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, and I think a lot of this is a flare up from my Crohn’s. All the added stress of the new job transition I have no doubt is playing a subconscious role in all of it.

Hopefully with my next treatment this month I can get ahead of it and be in really good shape when my brother is here and when I have time off. I don’t want to feel sick and that have an kind of impact on his experience or time here.

Everything is falling into place for this new job. I have just been doing a lot of the paperwork and checks the pre-employment has been requiring. Everything has been going smooth so far. I am looking forward to both a break from work, and starting a new job in a new environment. Not to mention the money I’ll make. As long as this whole contract plays out.

After my last two shifts at this job I plan to do some adventuring for myself. I will be attending a camping trip put on by my current job’s unit council, so I can spend time with my coworkers outside of work before I’m gone for good. I will be driving to South Dakota on my motorcycle to see Sturgis. And hopefully between those two things I will be going for another ride with my friend from work. After that, my bother lands and we will have 8 days of activities. I have lots planned.

In terms of my love life. I saw a picture of my ex’s new boyfriend and subsequently learned his identity. Her pictures were posted on an advertisement for a company she part times for that does IV infusion therapy. She was featured on a “get to know out staff” post that the company had put up. And there I saw photos of her and her new boyfriend who she named. Of course it stirred up some emotions. But I guess know this person isn’t an enigma, and in a way that makes me feel a little better. That they’re not this dirty secret still being kept from me.

And so life goes on. I haven’t put any interest into dating right now. It just doesn’t seem to align with the goals I have currently, and I could use a little time to just figure out my life. Friends have been welcomed. But I’m not ready to open myself up emotionally just yet.

I hope the next twenty or so days I have off are healing in a way. I’ll take the time to do a big reset so I can step into this new job with my best intentions and hopefully play out the rest of the year having big wins for myself.

I will of course keep you updated.

Thanks for reading.