August Left

I had a really great day last week on my motorcycle trip. My friend and I went down to Colorado Springs, Canon City, and then drove back up through the canyons to get back to Denver. It was a long day, about 8 hours total. It gave me a lot more confidence on my motorcycle being on highways, winding canyon roads, and even trails that I really didn’t have any business being on riding a cruiser bike.

I got my new tires installed today. I need to remember to break them in a little bit first before I do any spirited driving but they look a lot better than my old ones. My front tire tread on the tires that were on the bike when I bought it was almost non-existent. Tomorrow if it doesn’t rain again I’ll take it out for another run.

I’m waiting for the recruiter to send me job details for the new night position I’ll be taking at the new hospital I’ve chosen to go work at. Things have been a little delayed because of the holiday but I really don’t feel like I’m in that much of a rush.

Like I said in my last post, I’m slowly feeling a little more confident about leaving this current job and starting at another. I think getting into a different setting will help me grow more as a person and push me make new friends, continue my hobbies, etc. We’ll see what the next couple weeks bring.

Other than that I guess things just feel kinda mellow. There are still emotional pangs that come up here and there. Like over the 4th of July weekend I got really somber thinking about what her holiday plans looked like. Who she was spending them with, if she was having fun, etc. I don’t really know how to make all that stop.

But all in all I’m letting things move forward, day by day. All I can really do is use the time I have and try to make the most of it. That’s kind of why having this motorcycle hobby, getting out and fishing, and exploring has become so important to me. I can’t sit and reflect anymore because it doesn’t move me forward.

I’ve said it before, but having this blog has been so immensely helpful for having an outlet, not only emotionally but creatively, and also for being able to document this timeline of healing and moving out of this really awful time in my life. The pain is still there but I have to just accept that I was treated poorly and that isn’t a reflection of who I am. This guilt I feel isn’t warranted.

And so I carry on. I will conquer Colorado. Even when it has so felt empty and presses on bruises I wish so desperately would be healed by now. I will come out of this ahead. And it will all be okay.

Thanks for reading.