August Left

I took a couple days to just do some recovery. My Crohn’s had flared up a little bit and the last couple days I have just felt like I couldn’t get enough sleep. I didn’t end up going fishing today like I had hoped, instead I just slept in until the afternoon and played some computer games with my brother.

I feel better after taking some time to rest. Tomorrow I have plans to go on another motorcycle ride with my friend from work. The day we went last week was really great, and I think I’m motivating him to ride his motorcycle more. He was talking about selling it recently but I think that’s because he didn’t find himself using it as often as he would like.

I will be ordering new tires for mine. I have a riser set up and some new mid-bend handlebars on the way to customize my motorcycle a little more to my liking. With all the practice I’m getting I feel really confident on the bike now. Seat time was something I told myself months ago I needed to make sure I pushed myself to go out and get. Which is why I ride it to work everyday.

Just another skill that takes time and practice to master. I miss flying for that reason. I felt like when I had left Albuquerque I was extremely proficient, but now not having flown since November of last year, I really feel like my skills are extremely dull. But flying is expensive. And extra money isn’t really something I have had the luxury of having right now.

Overall though I guess I can’t really complain. I do feel like I have some forward momentum, even if it is the smallest amount. I will be changing jobs soon, money isn’t feeling as restricted, I’m gaining weight (in a good way, I am actively working out and tracking calories to gain), my Crohn’s has otherwise been under control, and I do feel like I have a small community in the people I work with who have now started spending time with me outside of work.

I will admit I do still think of Gabi and how she is doing. It still stings to think she is with someone else. I had heard that she got told by her managers to step down from being charge nurse, and then tried applying for another leadership role but didn’t get the job. It doesn’t sound like she is well liked by her peers. On one hand I am sympathetic, but on the other understanding to everyone else’s opinion. She has shown her true colors and clearly people have started to notice them.

My parents are talking about coming out to see me. My brother will be flying out a couple days before them to come spend time with me. I am greatly looking forward to that. They came and visited me last year, they actually surprised me for my birthday. I was walking home from work and they were waiting across the street waving at me as I came into view. That made me really happy. It was just a few weeks after Gabi and I had broke up and I moved into my new apartment.

I am still scared to switch jobs. But I am starting to find my confidence again. I know from this job that people like who I am when I am my authentic self. I have made friends at work and am in good standing with my coworkers. I’m sure that will carry forward into my next job.

It is the fourth of July this weekend and while I am not an American citizen, I appreciate being here and seeing the people of this country celebrate and enjoy this wonderful place they live in. I have been grateful to call it home for the last 7 years.

I will take some photos of my trip tomorrow and post them in my next update. I will be gone most of the day.

Thanks for reading.